An Ode to Car Decals

We can all see your plates, and your make and model too.

So is it really necessary to know your alma mater and political stance? Eww.

Everyone has opinions, so voice them as you please,

but I really don't want to have to read them as I ignite with my keys.

The bumper sticker is no longer a pop culture trend.

Despite what the other soccer moms may say,

neither is posting a giant decal with the name of your kid and every damn sport they play.

Congrats on raising such a great honors student,

but really, telling the world is not exactly prudent.

All I'm saying is I don't really need to know your daughter is in gymnastics and plays trombone.

So if you drive a nice car but trashed it with decals, leave it parked at home.

Really...a monogrammed car decal? It's a car, not stationery. This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about.